Dialogue TOMORROW WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 27 with dessert buffet and book giftival and herewith a synopsi

“True happiness… is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” ―Helen Keller

The dialogue with dessert buffet is tomorrow Wednesday November 27 at Humainologie, 1514 Seventh Street SW. Nyabuoy will be facilitating this time, and we'll explore ideas for how each of us might reach for the stars in 2020. The overarching question is: What do you really want out of 2020? We’ll have a dozen good quotes to get the discussion started, and break the overarching question down into smaller achievable parts, for example:

1. How do you define your Purpose in Life at this particular time of your life?

2. What is an overarching goal for the year ahead that would inspire you and advance your purpose in life?

3. How might you break up that overarching goal into very small, easily achievable pieces?

4. What are some good ideas that would help you maintain momentum throughout the year in achieving those pieces, one by one, in a timely manner?

5. Would it help to have an accountability partner to whom you would report your progress? If so, who might that accountability partner be?

A recent book by Robert Greene, The Laws of Human Nature might help you with the process of actualizing what you decide to do in 2020. I've appended a synopsis of Chapter One from that book below.

Last Wednesday, in honor of the 100th anniversary of my mother's birth, I introduced a book giftival, and we'll have one good book on offer tomorrow night.

Arthur

Book: (Robert Greene) The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

Robert Greene is “the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The 48 Laws of Power, The 33 Strategies of War, The Art of Seduction, and Mastery….” Like his previous books, this one is a hefty tome, almost 600 pages. So far, I’ve read just over a hundred pages. Even if I’d read the whole book carefully, I couldn’t do justice to it in a two-page synopsis, so I’ll use a different approach this time, doing a synopsis of individual chapters, each of which could be thought of as a small book or module unto itself. My synopsis here will indicate the basic structure the author uses for any chapter in this book. Then I’ll give the summary for Chapter One.

A major value of the book is that it can help you understand your own behaviour and that of others. This understanding can enable you to better navigate the seas of your life. You will be better able to guide your own behaviour wisely, for better outcomes. Those “seas of your life” include diverse human relationships, with others who (like you) are driven by these “laws of human nature.” Just as you will be a better chess player if you understand not only the rules of the game, but also the strategies that players use, and what have been called the “traps, pitfalls, and swindles” in those strategies, so too will you be a better player in the game of life if you understand the “laws of human nature” as described by Robert Greene. The author’s own presentation about this book is available as a YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcaVhMt71qE

Each of the 18 chapters deals with one “law of human nature.” However, the chapter title always consists of a concise suggestion about how to use your knowledge of that “law.” The law itself is the chapter subheading. To illustrate this, here are the titles and subtitles of the first three chapters of the book:

1. Master Your Emotional Self / The Law of Irrationality

2. Transform Self-love into Empathy / The Law of Narcissism

3. See Through People’s Masks / The Law of Role-playing

Each chapter also illustrates how the law unfolds in a particular life, using one or more stories from the lives of historical figures.

There is positive as well as negative potential in each of the laws. In Chapter 1 for example the author notes that we are capable of reason, yet our emotions are always there. Emotions are necessary companions to our reason, yet they can take control and ruin our lives. Our reason comes from activity of our cerebral cortex, particularly the cortex of the frontal lobes. Our emotions arise from deeper parts of our brains, the limbic system particularly, and are said to have evolved much earlier than our neocortex. That activity of the limbic system is manifest when you hear an infant screaming its little head off in a public place. Infants show us the irrational (emotional) parts of human nature. And it’s not all bad, on the contrary, infants have a magnetism and give us more mature observers great delight.

A balance of the rational and emotional parts of our nature is essential. Stoic philosophy emphasizes the rational, Epicurean philosophy the emotional. Ideally each of us would achieve a synergy that best serves our purposes, for optimal outcomes – outcomes chosen by our reason to enable a good life, including our emotional well-being.

Take for example the perseverance necessary to finish an important project. Enthusiasm arises from our emotional self, and that’s a big help in perseverance. But there will be times when our enthusiasm wanes. Can we persevere? Perhaps another emotion, impatience with some refractory aspect of the project, makes us think of abandoning the whole thing. “Rational people demonstrate over time that they are able to finish a project, to realize their goals, to work effectively with a team, and to create something that lasts. Irrational people reveal in their lives negative patterns – mistakes that keep repeating, unnecessary conflicts that follow them wherever they go, dreams and projects that are never realized, anger and desires for change that are never translated into concrete action.”

Using a historical example from Athens of 432 B.C., Robert Greene describes how Pericles, a wise and respected leader at the time, had achieved that wisdom. He’d noticed that other Athenian leaders, often charismatic, would give advice that was self-serving. Within himself, Pericles noticed how his own emotions drove him this way and that. He resolved to dedicate himself to the greater good of Athens, and to constantly monitor his irrational self. From Pericles, Greene then turns his attention to you, the reader: “Understand: Like everyone, you think you are rational, but you are not. Rationality is not a power you are born with but one you acquire through training and practice. …Your first task is to look at those emotions that are continually infecting your ideas and decisions. Learn to question yourself: Why this anger or resentment? Where does this incessant need for attention come from? Under such scrutiny, your emotions will lose their hold on you. You will begin to think for yourself instead of reacting to what others give you.”

Three steps to help you get started are: Step One: Recognize the Biases. We are convinced that we’re somehow better than others (superiority bias) and of ideas that make us feel righteous (conviction bias); and that our views are factual (confirmation bias). (That last one was the subject of the book Factfulness, of which you’ll have seen a synopsis.) It’s important to recognize these and other biases we have so that we control them rather than letting them control us. Step Two: Beware the Inflaming Factors. “Never imagine that you are someone who can withstand rising stress without emotional leakage. It is not possible.” Be aware of stress you experience related to how you were programmed or traumatized in childhood. Be aware of individuals who are upsetting your equilibrium, and how your presence in a particular group is influencing your thoughts and your behaviour. Step Three: Strategies Toward Bringing Out the Rational Self. Among the strategies the author recommends are to know yourself thoroughly, and to increase your reaction time. Slow down, give yourself time for reflection.

It is not only the individual but also our society, our culture, our history on this planet that are driven by these laws. ”Do not imagine that the more extreme types of irrationality have somehow been overcome through progress and enlightenment. Throughout history we witness continual cycles of rising and falling levels of the irrational.” Here in Calgary we can steadily build our group genius and our self-awareness through dialogue. This book can help.