In the nick of time

In the nick of time for our dialogue by Zoom, I've finished a synopsis of another chapter in Robert Greene's book. There's no need to read it before the dialogue, but whenever you read it you might find it helpful. I did it partly to sharpen my own wits in preparation for tonight. Most of you already have the link, however I'll include it here for newcomers who might want to join us (start time 6:30 PM). Arthur

On Wednesday April 29, 2020 at 6:30 pm mountain time, join us on Zoom

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/3830471170?pwd=U3lXMnlnR29RWThJYzFXT2c1c1lYZz09 Meeting ID: 383 047 1170 Password: 727036

Book Chapter: (Robert Greene) The Laws of Human Nature (2018)

Chapter 12. Reconnect to the Masculine or Feminine Within You. The Law of Gender Rigidity

Caterina Sforza (1463-1509) lived in a time when Italy was in a state of endless warfare, cruelty, and betrayal. Her father “treated her as an equal, marveling at her intelligence and encouraging her in her studies.” He taught her hunting, swordsmanship, and how to navigate the minefields of aristocratic treachery. Machiavelli met Caterina in 1499, and by then she had probably surpassed what even Machiavelli could have taught her. Beautiful and seductive, always seen wearing the latest fashions, Caterina also trained her own army, retaliated brutally when she was betrayed, and became a charismatic heroine to many who lived in those times. With her astonishing mastery of both the masculine and the feminine, she is not only a perfect choice for Robert Greene’s historical case study in this chapter, she would also be an obvious main character for an action-adventure movie. (So why on earth hasn’t that movie been made? Just a thought.)

This chapter in Robert Greene’s book has already been valuable to me, simply because it made me realize that the masculine voice inside my head has been far too dominant. It’s been the voice of my father, constantly critical of my laziness, my ignorance, and so on. Obviously I need that consciousness but if it isn’t balanced by another voice, the voice of my mother, always there to reassure me and remind me that it’s going to be okay – then the masculine internal voice can ruin my life. After reading this chapter, I decided quite simply I would have to work every day to cultivate and amplify that nurturing feminine presence in my awareness.

“This ability to play many different roles, to blend the masculine with the feminine, was the source of [Caterina Sforza’s] power,” writes the author. Think about it! If perchance you haven’t yet fulfilled the potential of your own life – then the masculine or the feminine within you is waiting for your call.

Have you ever messed up a relationship with a person of the opposite sex? In his section on types of gender projection, Greene puts some of those failed relationships through diagnostic imaging. While emphasizing that there are infinite variations, he summarizes “six of the more common types of gender projection” of which I’ll here give a glimpse of two.

A man for example, whose mother doted on him when he was a child, may be projecting that image of his mother upon the woman he’s about to marry. As he begins to see that neither his wife nor other women will at all fit the image he had of his mother, he needs to grow up and learn to take care of his own needs. “This will drastically improve his relationships. He will give more, instead of waiting to be adored and taken care of. He will relate to women as they are, and in the end they will perhaps feel unconsciously impelled to provide more of the comfort he needs, without being pushed into this.”

In another type of gender projection, a woman may have “become trapped by the early attention paid to [her] by the father.” To illustrate this gender projection type (“the devilish romantic”), Greene uses the historical case of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Her father “was a notorious womanizer. He treated Jackie more like a playmate and lover than a daughter.” She adored him. “As a young woman, she turned all of her attention to older, powerful, and unconventional men, with whom she could re-create the role she had played with her father – always the little girl in need of his love, but also quite flirtatious. And she was continually disappointed in the men she had chosen.” Playing this game is not very rewarding. “Women trapped in this projection will grow resentful over the years about how much energy they have to expend playing to men’s fantasies and how little they get in return. The only way out of the trap for such women is to see the pattern itself, to stop mythologizing the father, and to focus instead on the damage he has caused by the inappropriate attention he paid to them.”

The author then describes differences between feminine and masculine styles of thinking; styles of action; styles of self-assessment and learning; and styles of relating to people and leadership. In thinking, the masculine style tends to the analytic and abstract, to categorization and separation; while the feminine style tends to seen the dots connected, how things interact with and influence each other. When it comes to action, the masculine style is exactly what Hamlet is trying to incite himself to in that famous soliloquy from Shakespeare, which concludes with “Thus conscience does make cowards of us all/And thus the native hue of resolution/Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought/And enterprises of great pith and moment/With this regard, their currents turn awry/ And lose the name of action.” The feminine tendency, which can be the decisive factor in achieving success, is to pause long enough to see which way things are moving before taking action. When it comes to learning from experience, there is the masculine tendency (when a man makes a mistake) to look outward and find something external to blame – while seeing themselves as the hero when success is achieved. “For women, it is the opposite: When there is failure, they tend to blame themselves and look inward. If there is success, they are more prone to look at the role of others in helping them.” In relating to other people, the masculine tendency is either to aspire to the role of leader or to “gain power by being the most loyal follower. …Men form hierarchies and punish those who fall out of line.” There is an emphasis on outcomes (results) whatever it takes to achieve them. “The feminine style is more about maintaining the group spirit and keeping the relationships smoothed out….”

What the author brings home again and again is that it’s all about walking with two legs, about gaining that balance between the masculine and feminine within us as we move forward. “…Almost all of us are imbalanced to one side or the other. Our task is to open ourselves up to the opposite. We have only our rigidity to lose.”

If you’re trying to accomplish something really challenging – perhaps writing the great Canadian novel or even just getting a short story started, whatever - reading this chapter in Robert Greene’s book might provide the breakthrough to victory, your chariot of fire. You would have to check it out for yourself, as I’ve only provided a few glimpses here.

As he draws the chapter to conclusion, Green writes: “Finally, look at it this way: We are compelled by nature to want to move closer to what is feminine or masculine, in the form of an attraction to another person. But if we are wise, we realize we are equally compelled to do so inwardly. For centuries men have looked to women as muses, sources of inspiration. The truth is that the muse, for both genders, lies within. Moving closer to your anima or animus will bring you closer to your unconscious, which contains untapped creative treasures. The fascination you feel in relation to the feminine or masculine in others you will now feel in relation to your work, to your own thought process, and to life in general. Just as with shamans, that inner wife or husband will become the source of uncanny powers.”