Healthy Relationships

“We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.” — Joyce Meyer

Robert has distributed the theme, Healthy Relationships, as well as a structured list of topics for Wednesday and the link to use to join us on Zoom.

With regard to our writing partner project, I have recently learned quite a bit from several YouTube videos on how to tell a good story. Here is the link to one of those videos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj-hdQMa3uA

Also, I’ve appended below this message a poem I wrote years ago that concludes with lines on the value of gratitude. Please share your poems as well as your stories.

Healthy Relationships

On Wednesday May 27, 2020 at 6:30 pm mountain time, join us on Zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83311841133?pwd=dWJIVzMwaUxvdkFlaHBLbWlKZmRCdz09

Meeting ID: 833 1184 1133

Password: 386369

1. Brief Check in

What are your emotions now?

In preparation for Empathy week, June 1-7th, let us talk about relationships. As Arthur mentioned last week, so many of us aren’t taught how to become parents nor how to engage in healthy relationship. In fact, most of us enter into relationships with a lot of baggage which can activate our triggers and leave us feeling helpless and not sure what to do to help or improve our relationship. How we can create and/or improve our relationships? A big part of healthy relationships is being able to communicate well.

2. Discussion questions inspired by Michelle Chalfant’s presentation on Healthy Relationships

· How do you know that you are involved in a healthy relationship?

· What does a heathy relationship look like?

· Where did you get your model for healthy relationship?

· How can you establish healthy relationship if your parents were not engaged in an healthy relationship?

· What is a trigger?

· What can we learn from our triggers?

· Does blaming and arguments solve anything?

· How can you work your way out of a trigger?

· Is it healthy to disagree and ague in a relationship?

· How can we create an authentic emotional communication?

· What are stories and assumptions?

· How can we avoid falling the trap of stories and assumptions?

· What are some of your triggers? What are some of your wounding? How is it affecting your relationship?

· How does getting in touch with our emotions helps us navigate our lives?

· What do masterful listener do?

· Does being in fix it mode really solves the problem?

· When is it time to set a boundary?

· What does heathy communication look like?

In a small group discuss and then share what are some key elements to healthy relationships.

3. Let us stretch with Brian

4. Let us sing a song with Leila

5. Brief Check out: How are you feeling now?

Food for thoughts: The raise of Aid during Coronavirus

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/14/mutual-aid-coronavirus-pandemic-rebecca-solnit

May you be well,

Robert

Necessity is the mother of invention; adversity is the mother of wisdom; and I know you are all growing in your inventiveness and your wisdom. I hope you can Zoom with us on Wednesday. Arthur

Poem by Arthur Clark:

marmot moment

We had come such a long way together

Irma and I

when we learned she had cancer

and only a year left to live.

Then she remembered that day

long ago

in the mountains on the high plateau.

We had climbed and hiked

rocks and grassy slopes

when suddenly a family of marmots

appeared on the meadow.

Instinctively we knew

they had something to tell us.

We sat down with the marmots

in the meadow

and they came close and tugged at our trousers

and sleeves and told us there was another way

a higher order

beyond our fear

though they did not have the words for it

and we could not follow

all the meaning of their movement.

We went home knowing well

it was a moment in our lives

that had transformed us.

We went on with our lives,

had gone such a long way together,

when we learned she had only a year to live

and she was so brave so defiant

though once I saw her crying

and asked her why

and she said it was because

she would never see the marmots again.

Now she is gone

and I will never see her again

or the marmots

and yet

they are with me and remind me

each moment is forever,

here and now,

and lost

forever

and the only way I know

not to be lost in grief

over what has been lost

is to accept the bounty

and the beauty of the gift

with a gratitude so vast

that the grief itself is lost.