Humainologie creative dialogue brainstorming how to stop violence on Aug 18 with Manuel Rozental

“Can you imagine all of us trusting each other, working together, for our common home?” - Madeleine Jubilee Saito

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” - Nelson Mandela

“If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.” - Gandhi

The two major obstacles to accomplishing most things that are important, are 1) a fixed belief that it would be impossible to accomplish the thing; and 2) a failure to activate the imagination necessary to get started.

However, it takes much more than this. It also takes experience and relentless dedicated work. Manuel Rozental has had many years of experience thinking about the ongoing war in Colombia, and has dedicated much of his life toward ending the violence. In preparation for your contributions and questions tomorrow, Manuel has sent the following paragraph to share with you:

The greatest challenge to peace is the lack of understanding of the interests and dynamics that inevitably lead to war. Colombia is a painful example of this fact. There have been as many peace efforts as wars. The reason is that peace is always sought [by] denying or refusing to address and face the interests, powers and resources that persist and deny recognizing conflict as the essential motivator of change, coexistence and peace, if addressed. The white flags, the beautiful discourses, the nice intentions fail and will continue to fail recurrently because these cover up, deny, or attempt to bypass the tough challenges and conditions to achieve real peace. As has been said in the past, peace cannot be achieved between friends. It has to be sought amongst enemies. Such is the challenge and such [is] the failure that defines Colombia. We need a truth and profound changes that threaten power and very concrete interests. Peace begins with war...we know that. We are tired of pain and oblivion. All short-cuts and quick fixes even when expressing the best and most sincere intentions will lead to more brutal war and bloodshed. What in the establishment and existing regime has led to recurrent and deepening war in a country of festive, creative and kind-natured people? Who benefits from maintaining the establishment and how? Colombia´s war and recurrent peace efforts engage and involve others, not the least of them...Canada. Painful truths express the willingness to bring about change and engage us in these.

Our creative dialogue tomorrow Wednesday August 18, starting at 6:30 PM Calgary time (7:30 PM in Colombia), will give us a unique opportunity to learn about the case of Colombia, and to contribute to the imagination and the work that needs to be done to stop violence. Manuel Rozental will lead us in brainstorming how we might make progress toward this seemingly impossible goal. Please have at least one good question to ask Manuel tomorrow night. This is a rare opportunity for all of us.

As with the practice of medicine, we learn by addressing the specific challenges that each case presents. The case of Colombia offers unique opportunities to our collaborative imagination. We might start with the following challenge: How might we in Calgary make some small contribution to reducing the violence in Colombia? Is that even possible?

If it is possible, the book by Abbey Steele might help us find ideas. We can draw upon other sources. Gandhi’s emphasis on starting with the children might help. In the case of Colombia, what are some ways we could start with the children? For example, the Happiness Curriculum that is gaining enormous traction in India right now might help the situation in Colombia in the decades ahead. Here is the link to a short video about the Happiness Curriculum: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZEg4siLi4g

Daniel Shapiro’s book Negotiating the Nonnegotiable might give us some ideas. I have appended my synopsis below this email message.

Our recent creative dialogue on how to motivate yourself to change your behaviour presented us with three basic concepts for that purpose: Social incentives; immediate rewards; and progress monitoring. Is there some way we could apply those basic concepts to the challenge of ongoing warfare? Here is the link to that TEDx talk again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp0O2vi8DX4

At our creative dialogue tomorrow, Wednesday, we will again have the chance to empower our imagination and change the course of history, together. Here is the Zoom link provided by Shinobu. It starts at 6:30 PM in Calgary, 7:30 PM in Bogota:

Topic: Humainologie creative dialogue Time: August 18, 2021 06:30 PM Mountain Time (US and Canada) Every week on Wed, until Aug 25, 2021, 8 occurrence(s) August 18, 2021 06:30 PM Join Zoom Meeting https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89228710166?pwd=akg1UXk1dmM5bFBIa2wyckxXbkpwZz09 Meeting ID: 892 2871 0166 Passcode: 12345

Arthur

Book: (Daniel Shapiro) Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts (2016, 2017)

Daniel Shapiro founded and directed the Harvard International Negotiation Program. He describes a story related to him 25 years previously after he had facilitated a workshop on conflict resolution for teenage refugees – Serbs, Bosnian Muslims, and Croats – in Yugoslavia. One of the participants, a young woman who related her story in a monotone, described how three men with guns had entered her boyfriend’s house while she was having lunch with him. They pinned her to the floor, forced her boyfriend on top of her, face down on her face, and slit his throat.

We human beings think of ourselves as intelligent. So why have we been unable, when emotional or even violent conflict begins to emerge, to simply “collaboratively problem solve differences,” to define the interests of both sides to the conflict, then come to an agreement that works for both sides and commit to it? The author delineates three reasons why we are often unable to do this, in countless human conflicts from the interpersonal to the international. The three reasons are based on emotions; trust; and identity: 1) You usually cannot “solve” your emotions; they don’t follow your instructions. 2) Your distrust of the other party to the conflict can raise the very serious issue of risk to your own best interests. 3) You have an identity, which is extremely difficult or impossible to negotiate. However, all three of these things – emotions, trust, and identity - are fluid; they change over time.

Shapiro takes a focus different from the two “sides” in a conflict. His focus is “the space between sides.” If you can “decode” that space, and “design processes to help [the adversaries] work through intransigent emotions, divisive dynamics, and clashing beliefs,” then your chances of conflict resolution will improve.

The book is divided into four sections. The first (Chapters 1-4) entitled “Why Do We Get Stuck in Conflict?” takes a detailed look at identity. In Chapter 2, “Identity Matters (More than You Think)” he describes an exercise he has conducted many times, in which a large group of participants (for example at Davos, Switzerland, at the World Economic Forum) is divided into working groups (“tribes”) and each working group is asked to decide on their values (Equality? Women as decision makers? etcetera) that will define their tribal identity. Then abruptly at the end of the allotted time they are told that the world will be destroyed unless they can reconvene and decide which tribe all the other tribes will join to create a unified community worldwide. The tribes begin to argue and cannot agree in time for the deadline. “The world exploded at Davos,” he writes – and in most other places where he has conducted the exercise. Chapter 3, “Is Identity Negotiable?” presents a way of thinking about your “core identity” and the power of your “relational identity.” In Chapter 4, “How to Avoid Getting Lured into Conflict,” he examines the Five Lures of the Tribal Mind. These are Vertigo (loss of emotional control); Repetition Compulsion (a self-defeating pattern of behaviour you feel compelled to repeat); Taboos (social prohibitions that hinder cooperative action); Assault on the Sacred (an attack on the most meaningful pillars of someone’s identity); and Identity Politics (“manipulation of your identity for another’s political benefit”). Although these are usually traps, some of them can be reconfigured to keep you out of the trap.

The second section of the book, “How to Break Free,” has Chapters 5-9, with the following titles: “Stop Vertigo Before It Consumes You,” “Resist the Repetition Compulsion,” “Acknowledge Taboos,” “Respect the Sacred – Don’t Assault It,” and “Use Identity Politics to Unify.” In that ninth chapter, the author’s definition of Identity Politics differs from the definition he uses in his description of the Five Lures. He defines Identity Politics in Chapter 9 as “the process of positioning your identity to advance a political purpose.” If your political purpose is conflict resolution, you would position your identity accordingly. Shapiro emphasizes use of “the Relentless We” to include all the adversaries. For example: “We are trapped in this conflict which has drained our resources. How can we escape from this trap?” “The Relentless We really must be relentless,” he insists.

Section 3, “How to Reconcile Relations,” describes a 4-step method for “Bridging the Divide,” with Chapter 10 being a sort of preface to the four steps. The essential thing is to aim for harmony; your “victory” can be your undoing. “Uncover the Mythos of Identity” (Chapter 11) is the first step for bridging the divide, in which you focus on the stories the various adversaries tell themselves about who they are. “The more deeply you appreciate each other’s mythos, the more space you create to build positive relations.” Understanding the other side’s “story” means understanding the other side’s perspective on the conflict in which both of you are trapped. The second step, “Work Through Emotional Pain” (Chapter 12), calls upon each party to the conflict to explore and even try to experience the pain the other side has been through; and then to consider forgiveness. The third step, “Build Crosscutting Connections” (Chapter 13), emphasizes the decisive importance of enriching the interactions between (or among) the people who have been divided. The fourth step for bridging the divide is “Reshape the Relationship” (Chapter 14), in which three options are presented, essentially separation, assimilation, and synthesis. Separation is familiar from marital separation and ethnic nationalism; assimilation could be the “melting pot” envisioned by the United States or homogenization of values dictated by a tyrant; and synthesis can be a system that cherishes diversity and brings people of various cultures and ethnicities together in that spirit.

Section 4, Chapter 15, “Manage Dialectics” refers not only to Kant’s thesis-antithesis-synthesis model, but also Hegel’s suggested revision, summarized by Shapiro: “an idea progresses through three states: abstract, negative, and concrete.” A great idea must go from the original abstraction through trial and error to encounter the “negative,” the limitations, before the more concrete synthesis can emerge. Dialectics that dominate the emotional world of conflict include acceptance vs. change and redemption vs. revenge. Autonomy vs. affiliation is the “third dialectic,” which Shapiro calls the “essential dialectic of coexistence”: The tension between desire to be one with another (affiliation) and one (apart) from another (autonomy). The final, very concise, concluding Chapter 16 “Foster the Spirit of Reconciliation,” emphasizes 1. Reconciliation is a choice. No one can force it on you. 2. Small changes can make a big difference. That’s the butterfly effect. 3. Don’t wait. “If a conflict distresses you, give it the attention it deserves. The fundamental struggle of reconciliation is not with other people, but within yourself. Internal resistance is the greatest obstacle to peace, and no one can overcome that for you.”

This synopsis gives only a glimpse of what can be considered a “toolbox” full of essentials for conflict resolution. Conflict resolution skills will continue to be of life and death importance in human history and in our everyday lives. Reading this book and learning to use these tools is probably well worth your time and effort.